


Snake Handling

by kahlannightwing



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a thirsty bitch, Bestiality, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Deepthroating, F/M, M/M, Oral Sex, snake sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:14:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22474693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kahlannightwing/pseuds/kahlannightwing
Summary: It's post-Armageddon, and Aziraphale takes Crowley to a herpetarium. Aziraphale has done this for a specific reason and reveals his intentions. Despite the surprise, Crowley agrees it could be fun to try it out.Over 5k of porn for a dear and best friend of mind.Written forpandarsonfor the Good Omens Holiday Swap of 2019.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 129
Collections: Good Omens Holiday Swap 2019





	Snake Handling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pandarson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandarson/gifts).



"Why are we here, angel?"

It was a reasonable question. Aziraphale straightened from the glass display case where an orange corn snake was coiled on top of driftwood, flicking its tongue toward his face. Smiling, he turned to face Crowley, who was standing back from the displays of snakes around them, hands in his pockets.

He had a scrunched look on his face, shoulders hunched as he stared at a black snake that had pressed against the glass and was nudging the top of its enclosure with a blunt snout. It looked like it wanted to be closer to him. Snakes liked Crowley. He'd seen them do this before. He'd never understood why he didn't have a pet snake.

He thought it would suit him.

"Is it a bit discriminatory to think you'd like to be around and look at snakes," he inquired. He turned back to the corn snake and placed a finger close to the glass, watching the snake slither closer, its tongue touching the glass. He imagined it must be confused if it was unable to smell him at all.

"Discriminatory? What?" Crowley stepped up beside him. Aziraphale watched in fascination as the snake turned its head in his direction and begin to slither upwards, seeking an escape.

"My dear, you had a very specific form in the Garden—"

"—It was easier to get around—"

"—and I figured that your preferred form, but I've never seen you don it again," Aziraphale finished. He glanced at Crowley, who was staring at the snake with a wrinkled nose. It looked like disgust, but it wasn't. He could see his eyes wide behind the tint of his glasses.

"Don't have to," he responded, tone petulant. He rocked on his heels and did not look at Aziraphale. "So you brought me to a herpetarium cause you thought I'd want to be around snakes?"

"It made sense to me." Aziraphale chuckled. "I guess it was a bit silly. You're so nice to indulge me though." He smiled at Crowley.

Those yellow eyes flickered over at him and then away. "Yeah." It didn't sound like an agreement to anything he'd said. Crowley had grown more comfortable with such praise since their failed trials. He wasn't pressing him up against the glass and hissing in his face with the whites of his eyes swallowed by gold.

Oh, but Aziraphale wished he would!

"I wish you would…." Well, he'd said that aloud, hadn't he? By the sunglasses aiming directly at him, he knew he had. Crowley's lips were parted with both eyebrows in the air. Thankfully he had no idea what he meant!

"What?"

"Nevermind, my dear. Do you want to venture in further or go home?" He straightened again and beamed, his hand swinging down to brush against Crowley's arm. He was pleased that Crowley didn't move away, even if his hands stayed in his pockets.

Shifting where he stood, Crowley lifted up his shoulders and let them sink back down. "I'm bothering them." He lifted his chin to indicate the corn snake pressing at the top of its glass cage rather insistently.

Clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth, Aziraphale wrinkled his brow and glanced around at all the glass containers housing snakes that seemed rather eager to escape.. "They do seem rather riled up. Do you know why?"

Crowley's expression went blank, as it did when he was hiding something, before he turned and began to walk away. "Nope," Crowley stated. "Let's go home, angel."

While he did appreciate the word 'home' used for his bookshop, he didn't appreciate the way Crowley was avoiding the question. To be honest, there were a couple complaints he could pose since the Apocalypse didn't happen.

For starters, he really wanted to have sex. At the least, he wanted to know if Crowley wanted to have sex. If he didn't, that would be fine. Time spent with Crowley was the best thing any dimension had to offer, and if it had to be spent holding hands and cuddling rather than slurping down his cock, that was just fine by him.

If Crowley also didn't want the cuddling or hand holding, what they did right now was also fine. Aziraphale just wanted to know.

Sliding into his seat in the Bentley, Aziraphale allowed the silence as Crowley started the car and he clung onto the door's handle for dear life for exactly four minutes and fifty-eight seconds. "Did you enjoy being a snake?"

"You're really hung up on this snake thing, aren't you," Crowley groused, taking his eyes off the road to stare at him.

"Mind the road! There's no missives from Heaven, and I'm sure there's nothing from Hell for you," he added, knowing because Crowley wasn't nearly as paranoid as he'd used to act. He didn't cast furtive glances around them or press his lips thin with secrets. "I decided to do some light reading. I ran into a herpetology book and took some notes."

He could have sworn that Crowley's jerk of the steering wheel was not on purpose. His voice came out tight too. "You don't do 'light reading'." He could hear the emphasis around his own words.

"Thus I took notes. Do you have a problem with snakes?" He attempted to sound nonchalant, but the glance Crowley gave him said he knew better.

Clearing his throat, Crowley took a turn normally — on two wheels — and shrugged. "Don't think about it. Like I said," he enunciated, "it was a convenient form for my mission."

"Oh," Aziraphale pouted. He tried not too, but he heard the sigh next to him.

"Angel…." Crowley paused as the car came to a rest across the street from the bookstore. He turned off the Bentley's ignition and sighed again. "Tell me why you're so interested."

"Oh, that's not a good idea." Aziraphale's fingers had found his buttons on his waistcoat, rubbing them over and over because they needed a good polish! "Let's just go inside and have a nice cuppa." He turned and beamed, his smile faltering.

Crowley was turned in his seat, facing him, and his glasses had slid down to the tip of his nose, his eyes unimpressed and one eyebrow to his hairline. It was a very good 'you're a bullshiter' look on him. He was breath-taking.

"You're so handsome!" Eyes widened, Aziraphale's hands clamped over his mouth. He heard a choked noise beside him, but he had turned away as heat climbed up his face. Then he was miracling the Bentley's door open, scurrying across the street without looking, and miracling the bookstore's door open to shut it behind him.

He was only a bit ashamed he'd run away. It was nonsense. He didn't need to run, especially not from Crowley. They'd known each other for thousands of years. He halted at the sofa, both hands leaning against the back of it as he breathed in and out. He just had to breathe.

"Angel," the voice proceeded the bell which just wasn't fair. Aziraphale could hear the boots thudding across the floor, and he turned to straighten his bowtie and look prim. "What the Hel-Heaven was that about?"

Aziraphale frowned. He thought what he'd said was clear, and while he didn't mean to blurt it out, his point still stood. "Really, you shouldn't act surprised. You are always...handsome."

As Crowley stopped in front of him, he shot Aziraphale an amused smile and relaxed his stance. "I always look handsome," he repeated. "How much wine have you had today?" He sounded bewildered, so it wasn't a complete blow to Aziraphale's ego.

"I am completely sober! I can say whatever I want now. I can say you're handsome." He walked around the couch and then to where the wine was stored, grabbing a bottle and two glasses. "Let's just have some wine, Crowley."

"Should I be worried if you're tongue's freer," Crowley pressed. His voice sounded closer, but Aziraphale did not turn as he uncorked a good red wine and poured them two glasses.

"Don't be dramatic," he chided. He turned and thrust one of the glasses out. Crowley brushed Aziraphale's hand as he took the glass. He raised a brow, smirking, and Aziraphale huffed again. "I'm not going to say anything horrible. I'm an angel!"

"As if that excuses you from all mischief. I have enough proof of what happens when you decide to do something to be concerned about what you've decided to do." Grimacing at the jumble of words, Crowley sprawled on the couch with his legs spread. "So what have you decided to do?"

Aziraphale's eyes lingered on Crowley's crotch. There was an outline pressed against the seam of his pants. Crowley had a cock today. That wasn't too surprising, except he'd never seen Crowley display it so openly.

Making a rather sudden decision, Aziraphale decided to take the metaphorical plunge. "I've decided I wanted to ask you if you want to have physical relations with me." He twisted the glass in his hands and then took a long drink.

Crowley made a choking noise, leaning forward. He inhaled, took off his glasses and set them on the table, and then rubbed at his eyes. "You— Physical rela— Do you mean sex?"

"Of course I do, Crowley," he snapped. He drained his glass and set it aside so his hands could flutter and twist together. "We don't have to, of course! I love how we are right now. Physical intimacy isn't—"

"Yes."

"Uh…" Aziraphale trailed off, eyes wide as his hands stilled. "Yes?"

Crowley leaned back in his seat, though his body was tense and still. "Come," he hissed, patting the spot next to him, "and sssit."

His legs felt wobbly, but they carried him to the couch, where he gently sat down next to Crowley, his hands flat on his legs. "Do you want to start slow," he ventured. He held out his hand toward him and smiled. "We could start here. With hand-holding."

Turning his entire body towards Aziraphale, Crowley gave him a confused look before he shook his head. Despite that, Aziraphale felt his hand slide into his own. He closed his fingers around it, a strange lump in his throat. 

Swallowing, Aziraphale nodded. "There. That's— Mmph!"

Whatever he had been about to say was swallowed by Crowley's lips on his own. He felt a hand cupping his face, and Crowley's eyes were squinted shut as if he were concentrating.

It was utterly adorable and heartbreaking at the same time. He couldn't bear it if Crowley thought he didn't want this, or they couldn't do this, or whatever he was constantly questioning with that furrowed brow. Tilting his head, he curled a hand in the back of Crowley's hair, deepening the kiss. Crowley's features relax, and Aziraphale felt a smile tug at his lips. He closed his own eyes to enjoy the taste and feel of Crowley's mouth against his own.

He did taste good. It was him, fully and given willingly. It was delightful.

Aziraphale was the one to lick at Crowley's lips. Tipping his head back, Crowley's mouth fell open as he moaned. Aziraphale's tongue slipped inside, licking and tasting more. Their joined hands gripped harder, and Aziraphale broke the kiss to raise them up.

Twisting their hands so Crowley's finger pressed against his lips, he stared into Crowley's eyes as he uncurled one of his fingers with his lips and then pulled it into his mouth. He sucked on it, not breaking eye contact, and watched the whites of Crowley's eyes become swallowed by that honey yellow.

That was perfectly gratifying to his ego.

He popped the finger out of his mouth and licked his lips. "Do you think I might have more to suck on?"

He'd never seen Crowley move faster. He released Aziraphale and leaned back, fingers undoing his shirt, tossing it backwards, before they undid his impossibly tight pants and shucked them off to fly across the room and land on a lamp.

Aziraphale giggled, only to have the noise swallowed as Crowley kissed him hungrily, pressing their lips together until he felt their teeth clack together. He leaned back suddenly, eyes wide and lips parted.

"Sorry. Sorry, that was—"

"That was sexy," Aziraphale panted out, feeling flushed and warm. He planted a hand on Crowley's chest and pushed gently. "I want you to lose a bit of control. I'll let you know if I need yo to slow down."

Crowley nodded, wide eyes following Azirpahale's movements. He laid back until his head rested on the arm of the couch. "You want me…?" He trailed off and shuddered as Aziraphale's hand trailed down his chest toward his groin.

"I want you to relax while I pleasure you. I want you to feel free to shout...or scream," Aziraphale's smile was wicked as he shifted on the couch to get his knees under him, using a hand on the couch's back to hold himself over Crowley. He licked his lips again and let his eyes wander where his hand had been. "Thrust into my mouth until you come. I'll swallow it all. I'm very hungry, Crowley."

Aziraphale's eyes stayed on Crowley's dick, watching it twitch and jump with every word until a bead of precome formed on its tip. Leaning over, he lapped it up and moaned expressively.

Cowley made a choking noise above him. Aziraphale raised his eyes to him, his ass in the air and his hand resting on Crowley's hip. "Is that alright?"

"Y-yeah. After I'll—"

He didn't let Crowley finish his sentence. He took Crowley's cock in his mouth until he felt his hairs tickling his nose. Relaxing his throat, he swallowed. Crowley's hips jerked and then stilled.

That wasn't he wanted. He wanted Crowley to use him. He'd imagined this in his head, and he hoped it would go the same direction. Bringing his hand down from the couch, he lifted up Crowley's leg and set it on his shoulder. Then he reached between Crowley's legs to roll his balls in his hand. He slid his mouth off of Crowley's cock, circling his tongue around his tip before sucking it between his lips.

Crowley's eyes fluttered shut as he moaned loudly. His head fell back, exposing the long line of his throat for Aziraphale to follow. Aziraphale was the one to moan now, wrapping his lips around Crowley's shaft as he bobbed his head.

Despite his slow start, he did not want to draw this out. He wanted Crowley completely convinced that he wanted him in the dirtiest, most direct way possible.

"Aziraphale," Crowley shouted, his hands scrambling for the couch to hold himself down.

It wasn't enough. Crowley was not following instructions. The hand at Crowley's hip pressed into his skin to get enough of a grip on his ass that he could lift up his hip to press it insistently upward. That thrust his cock into Aziraphale's mouth right where he wanted it.

The second time he did it, Crowley stared at him, lips falling open to groan as understanding filled his gaze. Aziraphale felt the weight leave his hand as Crowley thrust into his open mouth without urging. Then he did it again, and Aziraphale moaned and pushed his mouth down onto him.

Crowley began to thrust his hips up in earnest. A hand curled into Aziraphale's hair, holding him down as he used his mouth. Eyes falling closed, Aziraphale drooled around the cock filling his throat. He swallowed and sucked as much as he was able and was rewarded when Crowley let out a high-pitched keening shout.

Come spilled down his throat, hot and thick, and he swallowed fast even as it dribbled down the corners. When he was done pumping into him, Crowley's softened dick slipped from between his lips.

Aziraphale didn't wait for Crowley to regain his senses as he swallowed, licked his lips, and leaned over him to clean up his mess.

"Wha—" came the strangled mumble from Crowley as his body jerked under Aziraphale's tongue.

Chuckling, Aziraphale slid his hands over Crowley's stomach, under his shirt, and continued to gently clean him off. "Mmm, you taste nothing like I imagined, my dear."

"Who...are you? When did you learn any of this?" Crowley's face was turned back to him, his hair mussed and falling into his forehead. Aziraphale loved how he looked.

"Don't be so dramatic," he repeated. He sat back on his legs and grinned, wiping primly at the corners of his mouth. "You couldn't possibly imagine I hadn't partaken of this."

Snorting, Crowley pushed himself slowly onto the armrest. "This isn't food. You're-you're a dirty slut," tumbled out of his mouth like an accusation.

Aziraphale's lips fell open as he gasped. "How dare you!" His lips pressed thin, anger flushing his face. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a slut!"

Now it was Crowley's turn to look shocked, and then he threw back his head as peals of laughter burst from him. He half-rolled on the couch, almost dislodging Aziraphale who scrambled to find handholds to keep himself from spilling onto the floor.

"Don't laugh! You said it as if I should be offended. It's a completely natural act—" He made a muffled noise as Crowley rose in a smooth motion, wrapped his arms around him, and kissed him soundly.

Crowley's forked tongue licked at his lips, and Aziraphale shivered and parted his lips so he could suck it into his mouth. Crowley moaned, his legs shifting as he tried to straighten and push toward Aziraphale. With a grin, Aziraphale leaned back, placing his hands on Crowley's shoulders to halt his movement.

"Don't you want to know why we went to the herpetarium, or are you so easily distracted?" His fingers slid down Crowley's shirt, undoing the buttons to reveal his chest dusted with red hair. Once his shirt was undone, he pushed back each side and slid his hands across twitching skin.

Crowley hissed at the attention as his eyes darted between Aziraphale's face and hands. "The herpe—" Scowling, he glared with no heat as Aziraphale wiggled his shoulder in victory. "There was nothing easy about what you just did, angel."

"I suppose not, though I'll take it as a compliment anyways," he answered cheekily. "Do you want to know?"

"Sure. Why not? Why did we go to the herpetarium?" Crowley managed to sound extremely put-out by the question.

Aziraphale ignored the tone as he smiled, tracing his fingers back up to pinch Crowley's nipples. He spoke over Crowley's strangled moan. "I've become interested in snakes lately, and I've always imagined us having physical relations."

"You've what," Crowley interrupted with a gasp.

Frowning, Aziraphale huffed. "Don't interrupt, dear. I've been thinking about us having physical relations since Rome."

Crowley tossed a hand into the hair, sitting up slightly until Aziraphale shifted to sit on his thighs and keep him still. "Rome? When we ate oysters?" He narrowed his eyes, but he didn't try to slide out from under Aziraphale even though they both knew he could. "Would you stop calling it physical relations? Sex isn't even crude!"

"Don't get hung up on semantics and stop distracting me," Aziraphale pouted.

Sighing as if he were carrying the heaviest burden in the world, Crowley waved a hand. "Go on then." It was said with such fondness Aziraphale felt the warmth of the words seep into his bones.

Clearing his throat, Aziraphale reached to undo his bowtie, watching Crowley's gaze snap to his throat. He swallowed as Crowley licked his lips. "Some of my fantasies involving you and me unexpectedly turned into you as a snake, like you were in the Garden. I wanted to see actual snakes and decide if I was still interested or if it was just a fluke."

The silence stretched between them as Crowley's eyes slid to his face. Crowley's jaw dropped, eyebrows rising to his hairline. Aziraphale shifted on his thighs and then slid his hands down to press them lightly into his stomach. He supposed that was a bit of a shock. Crowley had never even known he wanted physical relations and now he had to absorb the fact that he wanted physical relations with him in his snake form.

He'd give the poor dear some time. While Crowley sat in shock, he took mental stock of his inventory. He did need a first edition of The Incomplete Amorist. It wasn't costly, but it was scandalous for its time, and quite risque in places.

"Angel, what the fuck?"

Blinking, he focused back on Crowley, who still looked surprised. "You don't have to if you don't want to of course. I just thought it might be fun, feeling all those soft scales surrounding me, holding me in place." His cock twitched in agreement. It hadn't softened through their entire conversation.

He knew what he wanted, after all. Despite distractions, he planned on getting it.

"You want us to fuck while I'm a snake. That's bestiality," Crowley lectured.

Aziraphale could admit that he was naive about many things. Why Crowely thought he was naive about sex was beyond him. "I know what it's called," he admonished, reaching up to poke Crowley's nose. He smiled as Crowley wrinkled it and looked frustrated. "Do I really need to justify it? I'm curious. I think I would enjoy it. If you wouldn't though, that's fine. There are many things we can do so that we both share in the pleasure."

"The pleasure," Crowley repeated.

"I just sucked your cock until you came in my mouth. I rather think we're beyond questions like 'are you sure?' Do you need time to think about it?" He wouldn't hesitate to stop right here and come back to the discussion a couple days or a couple decades from now. He shifted his hands to Crowley's hips. "We have all the time we could want."

Crowley's face screwed up, though what particular emotion he was trying to convey wasn't clear. "Yeah. I need some time I think."

Nodding, Aziraphale began to shift off of Crowley, intending on putting the kettle on and settling his erection when Crowley's hands clasped him at his wrists. Aziraphale paused, staring at Crowley in question.

"Didn't say you should leave, angel." Crowley's voice deepened.

Aziraphale felt his body blush at the way it vibrated through him. "Oh, I was just going to—"

"No, just give me a moment," Crowley insisted, his eyes still lacking any whites. His voice rumbled, causing a shiver to run through Aziraphale. "Let me just...get the logistics straight."

Aziraphale nodded, falling silent as he resettled on his legs. Crowley didn't say anything for several moments as he stared unblinking at Aziraphale.

Nodding sharply, Crowley released Aziraphale's wrists. "Alright. I'm up for it." His grin was rakish, and Aziraphale's heart skipped an unneeded beat. "I'll be big though. Have to miracle the space around us. I don't want to break anything."

"You most certainly are not damaging any of my books just so we can orgasm," Aziraphale agreed primly. He choose to ignore Crowley's amused chuckle. "Snakes don't stop growing, so it makes sense. Um, I was wondering about one other thing. I mean, if you would be so kind. Again, if you don't—" 

"Just ask."

"I would prefer you to have a cloaca." His fingers twitched over Crowley's hips with nerves, and he bit his bottom lip. This was the part he was sure Crowley would say no to, which again was just fine!

Crowley's stare was blank. "A what?"

Of all the responses Crowley could give, not knowing what a cloaca was had not been one of them. "Oh, uh, a...well it's not the proper term, but a vulva."

"You, er, you want a— You want me to get— You want me to have a vagina? As a snake?" Crowley held up a hand before Aziraphale could speak. "No, no, I know what you mean. Fuck, angel, you're really doing a number on my head." He gestured toward his cock, which was beginning to rise again, twitching toward his stomach. "I'm interested," he clarified with a smug grin.

"So you are, my dear." He wrapped his fingers around Crowley's shaft and stroked it to a hiss of satisfaction. "Do you need to do anything to prepare?"

"Yeah," Crowley breathlessly hissed, "to not have your hand on my dick so I can think of a vagina."

Aziraphale broke out into laughter, releasing Crowley and sliding off him. This time he avoided the hands grasping for him. "I'm going to give you room to do your work, Crowley. I'm also going to strip for you."

Crowley sat up, his hands fluttering up to his flushed face and then forcibly back down to rest on his pants legs as he affected a casual expression. "Yeah? Well, what are you waiting for?"

Smiling knowingly, Aziraphale tugged at the loose end of his bowtie, pulling it from his collar and letting it drop carelessly to the floor. With a thought, it was miracled to a nearby table, folded neatly. He undid the buttons on his shirt, revealing the expanse of his stomach covered in light curls.

Crowley made a noise in the back of his throat, his hands twitching and then clenching on his legs. His eyes were trained on Aziraphale's stomach, and the attention made his insides warm. "Do you want me to touch me, Crowley? You can."

He barely finished giving permission before Crowley was on his knees, hands pushing the shirt completely off to slide over Aziraphale's stomach with firm strokes.

Azirpahale's skin twitched under the touches, a surprised noise escaping him before he chuckled. "You're so eager. I never knew you wanted to touch me so much," Aziraphale commented, his hands moving to his pants to undo his buckle. He bit his lower lip as Crowley's hands drifted up, cupping his chest. "Crowley…."

Sliding his body up Aziraphale's, he smirked and poised his lips right over one of his nipples. "You aren't the only one who's imagined things." Crowley's thin forked tongue flickered out, circling around his nipple before it wrapped around it. Aziraphale's breath caught as Crowley's tongue teased before it glided over his nipple, coaxing it into a hard bud.

As he gave the other nipple the same treatment, Aziraphale gasped and wriggled. He felt arms encircle him and relaxed into the grip. It was easy to close his eyes and imagine they were coiled around him like a snake's scaled body. Then he felt a tingle from the skin touching his bare neck.

Opening his eyes, he gave Crowley a quizzical look which was returned with a smile in a flash of white teeth. Crowley's canines elongated as the skin on his face seemed to ripple.

Aziraphale shifted if only so he could get a better look. Crowley didn't loosen his grip, but he could see another wave pass over Crowley's body, as if his skin was flipping to reveal a layer of shiny black and red scales.

The color from just under Crowley's nose and down a line that dipped down his neck to underneath his pants was a deep red. The scales from his nose to his forehead, along the sides of his neck, and down his back were a glistening black that shimmered with color like the reflection on a bubble. Crowley's tongue slid back into his mouth as it pushed forward, human teeth disappearing as his lips vanished. Scales covered every surface of him, transforming his hair as it laid flat and then melted into them.

Azirpahale felt the arms around him slip free, melding into his torso as his legs drew close together. Crowley's clothing, rather unfairly, settled into his skin, the skin replaced completely with scales. With a pleased hum, Aziraphale's hands lay on where Crowley's stomach had been, now slick scales he ran his fingers and nails down.

Crowley's voice did not make an audible sound so much as resonate in his head with an extra hiss behind the words. "Angel…."

"Can you feel that? It doesn't feel bad, does it?" Aziraphale looked into slitted eyes that now had a bit of red at the outer edges. He knew Crowley's expressions intimately. The crease of frustration between his eyebrows, the tilt of his mouth when he hid a smile, even the height of his eyebrows when he was about to cave under Aziraphale's pouting lips. This face he'd seen only one other time was impossible to read. Snakes didn't have facial expressions at any rate.

"No. It doesn't feel bad." His body twisted then, elongating as his legs extended and what had been his torso craned upwards.

A quick thought and the small space in the back of the bookstore was big enough to hold a very large, slithering snake. Aziraphale hadn't known what Crowley meant by big, but now he knew big meant 'as the entire interior of the bookstore'. Crowley's coils swallowed the couch, curling sedately around Aziraphale's shoulders, wrapping around his waist, and lifting him up to set him on more of his body.

Aziraphale honestly couldn't tell where Crowley ended. He began at his head, which had lowered to gaze at him eye-to-eye. "Comfortable," Crowley inquired with something like amusement.

"Oh, I am!" Cupping his hands on Crowley's jaw, he brought his nose closer to Crowley, smiling. "You look beautiful, Crowley." Snakes didn't blush, but Crowley's head tipped downwards. "Let me finish undressing."

Crowley drew back, resting a generous amount of his own body underneath his head to prop it as Aziraphale's hands moved to undo his buttons and slip out of his trousers. The scaled body under him shifted and slid with ease to accommodate any motion he made. He never felt unbalanced once.

"You're so good at this. Have you transformed since the Garden?" He tossed aside his shoes, garters, and socks, reassured they would land neatly folded elsewhere where even Crowley's form didn't disturb them.

"Nah. This is just natural. It's easier. It's hard to explain, I guess," he conceded. Lifting his head, he slid it across Aziraphale's cheek gently. "Is there anything you imagined I can make happen, angel?" His voice was a velvety promise in Aziraphale's head.

"I do want to make sure that you'll be comfortable. Will we be compatible?" Aziraphale ran his hands down his stomach as if his waistcoat were still there, and then laid them on Crowley's scale again, smiling at the comforting warmth undulating around him.

"Compatible?" Crowley sounded confused, and then twisted his head around the back of Aziraphale's neck to rub against his other cheek. "For you, angel, of course." A section of Crowley's body slid into view, flipping over to reveal a red underside with a distinct opening.

Aziraphale smiled, reaching his fingers to spread Crowley's pink, glistening vulva carefully. The coil around Aziraphale's waist twitched, tightening and then relaxing. Aziraphale inhaled, looking up at Crowley's face.

Crowley rubbed against his cheek. "Is it okay?"

"Oh, yes. Are you okay," Aziraphale responded. When Crowley nodded, Aziraphale continued. "I liked that. I like it when you move against my naked skin."

He felt scales slid over his calf, wrapping upward until they were sliding around his thigh. With a moan, he pushed against them, luxuriating in the warm slide against his balls and then against his ass. Crowley's head was near his face again, his tongue flicking out to tickle his nose. "Don't have to show you how to do it, do I?"

"Oh, you're so disrespectful. Of course I know how to treat you." He tipped his nose into the air, gripping Crowley's chin firmly in his hand. "And I'm definitely going to give you a lesson in manners."

Despite the anatomical impossibility of it, Aziraphale watched Crowley's throat bob as the vulva under the fingers of his other hand flexed. He made a tsking sound and straddled the thinner portion of Crowley's length, his tail curling up to cradle Aziraphale's ass.

Releasing his chin, Aziraphale steadied his cock, angling his hips as Crowley's tail leaned him forward. He slid into wet heat, choking on a moan as Crowley clenched and fluttered around him. He heard Crowley crying out in his head and his hips jerked forward.

"Oh, yes! More," Crowley urged.

He didn't need much encouragement, but it sent a jolt of pleasure flaring through his gut. Resting both hands on Crowley's sinuous form, he drew his hips backwards and then thrust forward again, feeling himself tilt as Crowley laid himself so Aziraphale was on his stomach, driving into Crowley with abandon.

Crowley's head curled around his shoulder until he was pressing his cheek against Aziraphale's, both of them facing the same way. He could feel the puffs of breath as he panted alongside him. Crowley held him up with a strength that only made Aziraphale's cock twitch more as his scales slid along his waist, his stomach, and curled around his balls.

He leaned his head toward Crowley, leaned his whole body into his and let it hold him up while he drove his cock in and out of Crowley. The sounds were more obscene than the movements, sucking, wet noises that made Aziraphale's balls draw up tight.

"I'm going to—"

"Please do! Fill me up," Crowley hissed, his coiled body tightening around Aziraphale until he saw spots.

Crying out, Aziraphale shoved himself deep into Crowley, releasing with deep, long thrusts of his hips. He heard Crowley shout and felt him squeeze around his cock, drawing the come from his cock until he felt the heat of it leaking around them. Gasping, Aziraphale let his arms surrender to his weight, feeling Crowley's coils rise up to cushion and surround him.

Nuzzling sleepily into soft scales, Aziraphale smiled. "Mm, let me miracle us clean, Crowley." He arms shook as he began to lever himself up. He felt a portion of Crowley's body slide across his arms, pressing down until he lay still again.

"Ssh, angel. Rest. We can clean up later. You've never slept before, have you?" Crowley's voice was soft, sounding as tired as he felt.

"No, my dear. I always have something to do," Aziraphale murmured, his eyes already closed.

"Now you have to rest. I'll rest with you. We'll wake up and have some breakfast." Crowley's head came to rest next to his.

Turning onto his side, Aziraphale drew Crowley's head to his chest, wrapped his arms around it and sighing with contentment. "That would be lovely. There's a new place...near...someplace." He couldn't quite remember right now. He tucked his knees up and felt a coil position between them.

That was nice. Smiling, he kissed the top of Crowley's head. "Good night, Crowley."

There was a small pause before Crowley responded, and Aziraphale could hear the smile in his voice. "Good night, Aziraphale."

**Author's Note:**

> So female snakes are super cool! Did you know they can just go 'ride is closed; your ticket is invalid' to any male snake they want? They also can eat male snakes after mating with them.
> 
> For those of you confused by the seemingly unresolved question of why the snakes are acting funny around Crowley, female snakes put out a line of hormones that go for miles and have the boys coming to their yard. Crowley + Aziraphale ='s a bunch of confused male snakes. It was a little too embarrassing for Crowley to admit to if he even knows that's what's going on.
> 
> My best friend wanted snake sex for Christmas and I wanted to write snake sex. Hope you liked it, bestie!


End file.
